Why I Don’t Care If You’re Tired of Me Posting Pictures of Myself on Social Media.
Personally I think our generation is kinda weird and screwed up and we are all a little too into what we’re doing on a day to day basis. We are all so caught up in making our lives look cool that we aren’t really focused on what’s going on around us. It’s all great and everything to take pictures and to share them because it’s a way for us to stay connected with our friends and the people we are acquaintances with.
A couple of months ago I started doing commercial photography shoots with some photographers in my hometown. It was a really random thing to begin with. I was so used to taking pictures with my art school friends and I thought it would be fun. So I went. And I shot with them. And it was a really awesome experience.
I have always thought of myself as a pretty confident person. I like meeting new people, I know I’m short, I know I have curves.. I’ve accepted that all. I never expected to have such an enjoyable experience working with these photographers. They instilled a new, unknown confidence I didn’t know I could have in myself and made me realize that even though I was comfortable in my own skin, I wasn’t necessarily confident. The more I worked with them, the more I realized I was working on myself and my self-esteem more than I was working on modeling.
What is modeling anyways? One of the photographers I worked with told me to lose myself and to pretend he wasn’t there. At first, it was super weird. I didn’t know how to do that. I didn’t know how to not deliberately do things for a photo. Everyone has their signature things in pictures, wether you’re moving your hair before you take it or you have to stand facing a certain way. It took a lot of practice but I finally got to the point where I kind of lost myself in music and the beautiful place I was and forgot he was there and that we were doing a photoshoot. When he showed me the pictures I looked relaxed and confident and I didn’t look like I was trying too hard for a picture.
Over and over in these shoots, the best shots would be the ones where I was fully being myself. Candid, but they looked like we had worked so hard to get that shot. They were all natural and it was really great. I have hundreds of pictures from all of these days and they are a really great reminder to me of the confidence I was to have and exude on a daily basis.
So when I post a picture of myself, I am not obsessed with myself. I am proud of myself for getting to the point where I fully accept who I am as a person and how I look. Everyone is so focused on looking like they are Barbie dolls, but I am perfectly happy looking the way I do. Go ahead and unfollow me if you’re sick of seeing my face, but if you know me and the struggles I’ve had with my body you would understand why I am so happy to finally be at a point where I can say that I am happy with the way I look. I know I’ll never be 5’10 and I really could care less, I feel so grateful that this experience has taught me to be happy with myself!
I'm the founder and Editor in Chief here at Cosmia Magazine. I'm currently an undergraduate student at SDSU where I am studying Speech Language Pathology. I am part of Pi Beta Phi here in San Diego, have my own photography website called Kaitlyn Photography, and love to write. I am a coffee fanatic, love the beach, adore mom & pop breakfast restaurants, and think a picture is worth a thousand words.