Boobies the Size of Blueberries
Do you remember the time you bought your first training bra with your mom? It was awkward and intimidating and you probably didn’t want to have the whole puberty talk with your own mother. I know I definitely didn’t. “You’re growing up. Things are going to change. Your body is going to change.” Could it be any more embarrassing? All I know is that I wanted to change. I wanted my body to change. I was always the shortest girl in my class and I wanted to look older and more mature. Every girl had sprouted faster than me–height wise and breast wise. As we grew older in junior high, everyone kept growing. And me? Nope. I wasn’t even close to sprouting “buds”. Don’t even bother calling me Gaby anymore, Flat Stanley will be just fine!
Even during a strange talk at a late night sleepover, I fell short from my desired expectations. Weird kids being weird kids, we were comparing our boobs to fruit while munching on our favorite midnight snacks and guess what fruit they designated me with. Blueberries. Not an apple. Not a peach. Nothing with actual size. A blueberry. I wanted nothing more than to wear a bra with a bigger cup size, and drift away from my pathetic “blueberry sized” boobs.
And as I got older and older, bigger boobs weren’t the only thing on my mind. The strange, foreign male species had suddenly become the one thought that would not disappear from my mind. And with the lack of boys in my life, came disappointment. The only thing I thought of was, “why does he like her and not me?” and “what does she have that I don’t?”. And I began to compare myself to other girls: “She’s blonde, tan, has bigger boobs–” and that was it. I stopped myself. She had bigger boobs. There it hit me. I suddenly became utterly convinced by Kelis that my milkshakes would bring all the boys to the yard, so thinking that mega jugs would be the key into a boy’s heart, I began to try everything I could to gain the appearance of some sweet sugar lumps. I layered 2-3 padded bras at once and thinly stuffed them with tissues. The thing with me was, I was a shortie (still am) and as thin as a twig, so large boobs looked extremely awkward and unnatural on a small 6th grade body. My chest looked faker than Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise’s marriage (I mean Tom Cruise is totally gay and we all know it).
As I began to develop more of a sense of style, clothes also became a very important part of my life. Except I always found it hard to fit into the clothes I liked. Why? Because I had no chest to fill the clothing out. Even now as a 16 year old, I still fit into the A cup sized children bras at Target (yes children’s bras still fit me). It was always discouraging when I was buying clothes and I didn’t feel confident with my body. A simple low cut tee could make any girl with an average cup size look sexy, but me? A simple low cut tee just looked baggy and plain. But soon I realized that having a larger chest isn’t all that fun. I’ve had many family members who had no choice but to get breast reductions because of the way their breasts were affecting their everyday lives. They can be heavy and cause immense amounts of lower back pain and posture issues. And I mean let’s face it–we all love bouncy houses. Do you think it would be as fun if you had two massive rocks attached to your chest being pulling down my gravity every time you jump? No. I have many friends who can vouch for that experience if you need proof.
And as I grew older into the first years of high school, I began to become closer with a lot of my guy friends. From there I realized that most boys don’t care about breast size. There is no need to use your body to attract a boy, or anyone for that matter. Most boys feel that a girl’s personality should stand out more than anything, and that boob size doesn’t matter most of the time. I had believed in our overly sexualized society that a woman’s body is all men care about, when in reality that wasn’t the case at all. A boy worth my time would love me for my mind and heart–not just my exterior. While, yes, that may sound cheesy, it’s very true that you Presh Girls shouldn’t feel discouraged about your cup size. Yes there may be a few jerks out there who will want you just for your body, but I guarantee you they aren’t worth your time.
It’s always good to feel sexy from the inside-out, so buying yourself a couple of cute bras and lacy undies will definitely make you feel more self confident. For us smaller girls, I always found it difficult to find cute bras that actually fit because let’s face it–push up bras only work if you actually have something there to “push up”. Thankfully a lot of stores carry smaller sizes for us sister friends with lacking chest volume. So go out and splurge a little on a girly matching bra and undies set to remind yourself that small boobs aren’t as bad as you might think.
So the next time you Presh Girls are standing in the mirror, looking at your double cheeseburgers thinking “supersize me please?”, just remember that sometimes the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Be confident and work with what you got–big or small.