A Day In The Life of Sam D.
So I spent my Friday afternoon hanging out with Sam D. and learning about his insanely awesome life. He’s kicking in his lazyboy with with his bleach blonde hair and American flag headband while we drink some pre-workout and talk about all crazy things going on in his life.
Your beauty blinds me.
Ah, you’re too flattering, so where are you from?
Santa Monica, California baby! Born and raised.
Not too far from SDSU, can you tell me about your look right now? I see you’ve got an interesting hair cut right now.
See, I’m tired of the man buns and I just woke up one morning and made a conscious decision to bleach it. All my roommates were against it, so naturally I did it anyways.
So, what’s up with the America headbands? It seems like you’ve always got one on.
You’ve gotta represent!
You want to join the Navy SEAL program, is that correct?
You’ve got it.
So, if you could be automatically accepted into the Navy Seal program or sleep with Scarlett Johnson which would you pick?
Well, to be honest, the SEAL program, Scarlett can wait!
Good choice, so have you ever been on a boat?
Which one? I have several.
I guess having a boat collection must be pretty nice! What would be your biggest accomplishment in life?
Competing in this standup paddle boarding race from Catalina to San Pedro docks. I’ve never been on a paddle board before and I trained for two weeks. I placed 24th out of 104 racers and came in, in 5 hours and 55 minutes flat.
It sounds like you’re always looking for an adventure. What do you like to do in your free time?
You know, skydive a lot. Swim with sharks. Fly planes and helicopters. You know, whatever.
It sounds like you’ve got quiet the hobbies. How many licenses do you have?
I have a car, motorcycle, scuba diving, skydiving, airplane, and helicopter license.
So if you’re always adventuring, how close have you been to death.
Well, two summers ago I was free diving off the coast of Hawaii doing water training with a Navy SEAL and when I came back to California I decided to push the limits in my pool by doing underwater laps to see how far I can hold my breath for. After my 8th lap underwater, I passed out from lack of oxygen. I woke up at the edge of my pool coughing up blood with my dad waking me up. It was a total of 85 yards.
Wow, well we’re all glad that Sam Dyer is still with us today! So on a lighter note, are you always swimming with sharks? I’ve got to ask, what do your weekends consist of.
Gym. Tan. Laundry. And I like to rage my face off.
Ah, so what’s your favorite drink?
Pre-workout. I love that s**t.
How much pre-workout do you think you consume in a month.
A lot. I’ve been on a one year cycle of Mr. Hyde.
So how many pull ups can you do?
More than you.
Wow, sassy! Pull-up contest right here, right now? You’d probably still win. Anyways, what’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever done.
So, have you ever done something you’ve really regretted?
Breaking down my front door.
You broke down your own front door? There must be a story behind that.
Well I was coming back from this party and I didn’t have my keys on me and I was trying to get some quality sleep in my own bed. I had to do what I had to do to get into my own house and so I did what any navy seal would do, and I breached the door.
That sounds expensive to fix. How many fines have you received this past semester?
Well, I punched a couple cars. Kicked in my front door. I guess you could say that hole in the ceiling. Parking tickets. Got my truck towed.
It sounds like you’re on an unlucky streak! How are the ladies? Have a fun weekend?
Well, uh, I woke up in the dorms. So I guess you could say I had a pretty fun night.
What’s your perfect date?
Well uh, I would do this as an afternoon date. A lunch date. So I’d pick up my date in my truck, of course. I’d take her in my plane; fly into Catalina and eat some buffalo burgers at the airport and she’d have a beautiful view of the ocean and everything.
What’s your favorite kind of chick?
I’m really into GDIs…but seriously? Blonde with blue eyes. Curves. In Shape. Spontaneous.
So tell me about your babe of the week.
So I’m scrolling through my Instagram feed and I came across this babe of the week on TFM and, uh, I couldn’t help but notice she was a smoke show so I had to shoot her a follow you know? She followed back, liked a few of my photos, and then I liked a couple of hers. And, I went in for the kill and DM’d her. Long story short, she was in my bed a week later.
So tell me your thoughts about Tinder.
Well currently, I’ve scored a chick on Wyldfire and Instagram; I’m shooting for the trifecta.
Wow, it sounds like social media is really working out for you. Way to contribute to the Y- generation’s new dating techniques.
Ya, and, by the way, I’d like to give myself a shout out. Tryin’ to get my ratio up. Add me on Instagram @studmufffin [with 3 f’s].
Who’s your women crush Wednesday every Wednesday?
Great line, do you use that one on all the girls? So, what’s your favorite pick up line?
How you doin’ baby girl wanna ride in my airplane?
Does that really work for you? So what’s your favorite way to pick up women? I’m sure the super smooth pick up lines aren’t always going to work.
In my camo raptor.
Would you rather drive a camo truck for the rest of your life and marry a girl that’s a three? Or, would you rather marry a girl that’s a 10 and ride a bike for the rest of your life?
That’s a tough question. As much as I love my camo raptor, I would have to be riding a bike for the rest of my life. I can’t be going home with Ursula the sea witch every night. No one wants to be known as that guy.
** In case you have been living under a rock… this is a little mermaid reference.**
So, when you’re driving around, I’m sure you’re listening to some great music. If you could sing any song for karaoke what would you sing?
“Rude” by Magic; not gonna lie, the chicks dig it. *he proceeds to sing while adjusting his headband.*
On to the fun & super random questions! If you could make a movie what would it be about?
A documentary about my life. It’d be a blockbuster hit.
If you could have any kind of dog what would it be, and what would you name it?
My current dog… a puggle. And her name is Lucy. She’s the love of my life.
What is your favorite quote?
Live fast, die young, look good in your grave.
If you had a billion dollars what would you buy?
A couple yachts. A space shuttle- is that possible?
What’s your favorite animal at the zoo?
What are your favorite munchies?
I’m gonna have to say Trujillos. I like to get my custom burrito… It’s with chicken, extra chicken, beans, rice, guac, and a side of chicken. Greek yogurt. That s**t is filled with protein. And it’s also greek.
Wow, that’s a lot of protein. Do you drink it with a glass of pre-workout? If you could get any tattoo with no judgement what would you get?
“No mercy baby!” Probably on my chest.
Are you more of a hunter or a gatherer?
I’m definitely a hunter.
If you could be any box of cereal what would you be and why?
Wheaties because I’m a champion.
My weaknesses- blondes, brunettes, redheads...
My strengths- determined, motivated.